Twas the night before weigh in, when all through the house
Not a nibble was missing, for me or a mouse.
The cookies were Ziplocked in baggies with care,
In hopes that Dillypoo soon would be there.
The Professor was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in my head.
I carefully opened some new gingersnaps,
And Stella caught crumbs as they fell in my lap.
Then all of sudden there arose such a clatter,
I drew back from the cookies to see what was the matter.
Away from the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Tore back up the stairs and checked on my stash
Of holiday treats tucked above and below
My desk and my purse and the fake mistletoe.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But my guilt-laden Conscience, with a gasp and a tear.
With a wave of her finger, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it wasn't a trick.
Or maybe it was and my mind was insane,
'Cuz she whistled and shouted and called me bad names!
"You glutton! You fool! You sweets loving vixen!
You moron! You numskull! What have you been fixin?
Go out to the porch! To the bins by the wall!
Grab the sweets and the cookies, grab the snacks, grab it all!"
My inner-child started pouting and wanted to cry.
I wanted my treats, the candy and pie.
But up to the house-top my Conscience she flew,
With a sleigh full of guilt and admonishments, too.
I tried to ignore her and stay quite aloof,
But she pestered and nagged like a bothersome goof.
I pushed her aside and was turning around,
When down through the chimney she came with a bound.
She was stylishly dressed, from her head to her foot,
Her clothes were designer, including her boots.
A bundle of fruit she had slung on her back,
She looked like a vegan with recycled sack.
But her eyes how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And her smile revealed teeth as white as the snow.
I envied her look, her style and svelte sheath,
And fairies encircled her head like a wreath.
She had a small face and a tight little belly,
That looked nothing at all like a bowl full of jelly.
She was healthy and trim, a jolly cute elf,
And I laughed when I saw her in spite of myself!
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
She spoke no more insults, but went straight to work,
And replaced all my junk with veggies and fruit.
Then laying a finger aside of her nose,
And giving a nod up the chimney she rose.
She sprang to her sleigh then gave me a whistle,
And away she flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard her exclaim as she drove out of sight,
"Happy weigh in tomorrow, and to you a good night!"