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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Searching for Dillypoo


Have you seen this blogger? She used to be a skinny little thing, usually found out on a trail near the river, running her formerly fat arse off. She disappeared a few months ago.

Have you seen her?

Every time I go looking, I find her Inner Child instead. That selfish, impulsive, spoiled little brat of self-indulgence who has apparently knocked Dillypoo senseless and locked her in a cupboard somewhere.

But I can hear Dillypoo out there, trying to be heard over her Inner Child again. This morning, before the brat was fully awake, I heard her cheer as she ate a healthy breakfast and packed a gym bag with workout clothes.

And for the first time in months, Dillypoo overrode her Inner Child's objections and put on those workout clothes and went for a 3 mile walk during lunch. Afterwards, while the petulant brat was sulking, Dillypoo had a sensible sandwich from Subway and registered for not one, but two 5K walks.

The search parties need to keep searching, though, so Dillypoo doesn't disappear completely. She's out there and wants desperately to come back.

Have you seen her?

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Five Years Ago

Five years ago I was fat, out of breath and looked and felt like a frumpy old bag.

Five years ago I reached a breaking point. I'd had enough of being fat, out of breath, and looking and feeling like a frumpy old bag.

Five years ago I rejoined Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time.

Five years ago I started this blog.

A lot happened during those five years. I lost a lot of weight and made a number of life altering changes. I started running and living an active life. I became a happier, healthier Dillypoo.

And then 2013 rolled around and I started to lose my way. I made bad choices. I neglected my blog. I stopped running. 

I started gaining weight.

The past few months have been emotional for me. I turned 50 without a lot of fanfare (by choice), the Professor made a lifestyle change that affects us both but which I didn't have much of a say in, and I had two health issues that I used as excuses to stop exercising.

Watching and feeling the weight creep on has been terrifying and paralyzing. I've had to buy bigger underwear and jeans two sizes bigger.

TWO SIZES BIGGER.

If I don't do something about it soon, then the last five years will be just a dream.

On New Year's Day, I weighed myself at home (I haven't been to a Club WW meeting in a month). I'm half way between where I was in January 2009 and when I reached my goal weight.

I weigh 172.2.

It's been five years, and I've reached that breaking point again. This week I purged the kitchen of all temptation and started tracking again. I stopped by the running store and signed up for the Cowtown 10K training group, and I joined a fitness club.

This morning I went for a 40 minute walk. I even ran a bit. It felt good to be out, even if my lungs and legs complained about the exertion.

I'm trying to keep my chin up and focus on the future, not the past few months. Because I can't go back to where I was five years ago.

The journey continues.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Cabin Fever Made Me Do It

There are several reasons I should be blogging (I can think of 20 that look suspiciously like fat), but a severe case of cabin fever is the one that won out. Winter Storm Cleon has trapped me and The Professor  (and the rest of North Texas) at home since Thursday night:

Winter wonderland of ice.
That, dear friends, is ICE, not snow. And it's been on the ground for three days with no sign of melting anytime soon.

My icicles are bigger than yours.
Dillypoo spent Friday, the first day of Icemaggedon, working from home, instant messaging co-workers working from their homes and comparing the size of our icicles. I baked two loaves of banana bread and a pumpkin pie, ventured over to the neighbor's house for tea and banana bread, and played Words With Friends all day.

Day One was kind of fun. Except for the broken garbage disposal, which made a cold, watery mess in the kitchen. Lucky The Professor is handy.

Boom! 131 points! Take that, Uncle Larry!
Dillypoo spent the second day of Icepocalypse eating banana bread, watching tee vee from bed under a heated blanket, monitoring Facebook updates from everyone else trapped at home, and playing Words With Friends all day. I also slipped and fell on the ice in the backyard, bruising my ego but nothing else.

Day Two wasn't quite as fun as Day One, especially when the commode began leaking all over the bathroom from a cracked and frozen rubber seal. Lucky The Professor is handy. Lucky we had an extra rubber seal in his tool box.

Today Dillypoo is fighting a full blown case of Cabin Fever. We're running out of milk, the banana bread is gone and I have 12 games of Word With Friends in play. My Facebook friends are getting desperate, too. Supplies of coffee, heat and sanity are getting low.

Day Three looks to be downright dull, or will be until today's plumbing challenge. Lucky The Professor is handy?

There's a chance the temperature will get to 32 or even, dare I hope it? 33 degrees today for about an hour. I have my doubts that will be enough to thaw out the streets or release my car from the sheet of ice incasing it in the driveway.

I think I'll see if The Professor can be talked into going for a walk. Rumor has it some of the local eateries are open for anyone brave enough - or desperate enough - to make their way over.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Hello! It's me, Dillypoo.

True story: The Professor spent this summer locked in his studio painting and listening to documentaries on Netflix about our tainted food supply. A little over a month ago he informed me he wants to switch to a "plant based diet."

That's vegan to you and me.

Dillypoo, however, has not made a full pledge to the vegetarian way of life. I like sushi and fried chicken too much. And a good hamburger. And steak.

I'm a vegetarian carnivore.

Our foray into vegetarianism has brought new meaning to Dillypoo's experimental cooking. The vegan "meat" loaf and lentil stuffed peppers were pretty tasty, but the banana muffins were a major fail and everything that's come out of the crockpot has been an unappetizing muddy brown color.

Yum.

My birthday is Tuesday. I do not want tofu.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Staying Positive

I've heard it said that losing weight is easy but keeping it off is hard. It's a fair and true statement. Dillypoo is still struggling to get back to goal weight.

The first part of this week was bad for me. I got to a pretty low place emotionally, berating myself for not controlling my inner child, that little bitch who just wants to eat Eat EAT.

The Professor and I made a quick trip to Houston over the weekend and I indulged that inner child with  chips and salsa, queso, barbecue ribs and dessert. I let her eat an entire Katafi and a cinnamon bundlette cake without sharing a crumb of either with The Professor.

GUILTY.

I hate feeling guilty. It's so easy to climb aboard a pity bus and drive it straight to a Taco Bell drive-thru window.

Which, thankfully, I did NOT do.

But it's hard to resist the urge to just give in and give up. I ate the cake. I might as well eat the rest of the kitchen, too. After four years, it's still a struggle to keep from falling into old habits.

Thankfully, I had my Club WW meeting last night. My meetings give me strength to continue even when I feel like a failure. Last night we discussed what it takes to not give up and having anchors to keep us steady on our journey.

It was a timely topic. It's important for me to remember where I was when I started this journey.

At my heaviest - over 200 pounds - in 2007.

And what I've accomplished since then:

You go, girl!
I've lost 50 pounds.

I've run two half-marathons and dozens of 10K and 5K races.

I've completed a tri-athlon.

I just have to focus on the positives. Life is a like a stream. There may be a boulder in my path right now, but I'll get past it and continue flowing towards a healthier, slimmer me.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I'm a Tri Athlete!

I did it! Dillypoo completed her first triathlon!

Finish line selfie!

Training for this event is the hardest thing I've ever tackled, but I. DID. IT.

There's a misconception that the "tri" in triathlon is for three events: swimming, biking and running. It actually stands for blood, sweat and tears. Or sunburn, sweat and tears, depending on the weather.

I kinda sorta forgot sunscreen last week.

I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamed I arrived early and fell asleep on the pavement in front of my bike. When I woke, I was surrounded by competitors but couldn't find anyone to check me in and mark my arms and legs with my bib number. I even drove to another town to start over but couldn't get checked in there, either.

When my alarm actually went off at 4:30 this morning, I arose in a restless state of managed panic. But anticipating a less than peaceful night, I'd packed my race kit before hitting the sack. All I had to do this morning was dress, fix breakfast, fill my water bottles and poke The Professor awake.

The Professor is many things, but morning person he is not. However, he'd agreed to be my chauffeur, for which I am thankful. But dealing with a non-morning person at that gawd awful hour requires keeping chit-chat to a minimum. Anything more conversational than "good morning," "thank you," and "I'll call you when I'm done" can be ambitious (and sometimes dangerous). Lucky for both of us, my anxiety level prevented me from attempting anything more than "good morning," "thank you," and "I'll call you when I'm done."

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Mother Nature evidently didn't get the memo that Dillypoo was rising early today for a trifecta of insanity. It was cold and just a bit windy, which meant after I set everything up, I had to strip down to my trisuit and run barefoot, shivering and blind to the pool. 

Me and my sausage tri-suit.

After my swim, I had to run barefoot, shivering and blind back to the staging area to put on my glasses, shoes and jacket and start the event I was dreading most: The Bike Ride.


Aaaaaagggghhhhhh!

I started out frozen to the handle bars but finished in record time (for Dillypoo) with frozen feet. Which made the run just THAT MORE FUN.

My feet didn't thaw until the half-way point.

In the end, I finished 134 out of 149. But, dammit! I DID IT!

Now I have to decide if I want to do it again.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Spring Break Madness

My new borrowed bike has me thinking that maybe training for a triathlon wasn't such a ridiculous idea after all:

Dillypoo and The Professor out for a Sunday afternoon bike ride.

See that smile? That's me. On a bike. Having FUN!

And "fun" was the buzz word for this past weekend. I decided Thursday afternoon to take Friday off so The Professor and I could get in on some Spring Break festiveness.

Of course, we're old, so our Spring Break means a day trip somewhere instead of a "gone wild" week of nonsense and debauchery. We spent Friday on the road, driving four hours East of Dallas in search of small towns, antique stores and lunch.

Small town barn.

Basket of scary antique dolls.
I love small town bakeries!

Check all three off the list!

The rest of the weekend was a blur of exercise and errands. I ran 6 miles Saturday morning, remembered that afternoon I'd signed up to run a St. Patrick's Day 5K with a friend and talked The Professor into riding bikes with me on Sunday.

Not sure if it was the socks or the shamrocks on my head that kept
her running towards the finish line in her first 5K!

And I got pink highlights in my hair:



Just because.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Ewww

This has been posted to my Facebook page twice:


My friends know me well.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Pain But No Gain

Yesterday was Weigh Day and I lost 1.8 pounds:


I'm pretty sure it can be found somewhere along a Benbrook bike trail. But YAY anyway!

Today I'm doing a double workout: boot camp this morning and group swim tonight. It's an indication of my dedication to this hair-brained scheme because I'll miss American Idol's Top 10 performances on tee vee.

Side tangent: The Professor and I really, really need to get a DVR thing. I think we're the last household on the planet without one.

Sunday's bike ride is looming, but I'm feeling a smidge more confident about it. For one, I am still able to walk despite the agony of last week's ride.

Second, my fabulous co-worker loaned me this:


A bike with real gears!


I have no idea how to use it, but my coach promised to meet me 30 minutes early on Sunday to 'splain it all to me.

Should be a piece of cake, right? RIGHT?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Tri Hard

What the hell was I thinking???


Dillypoo has been tri training for two weeks. Running. Swimming. Biking.

I have the running part down pretty good, and swimming is going well, too. I joined a gym with a pool so I can practice swimming without swallowing the pool.

But biking? I have issues with the biking.

First, I can count on one hand the number of times I've ridden a bike since 1982. And one of those times was a harrowing tandem ride with The Professor.

Second, I have a mountain bike that used to be my mother's (she rode it once, I think). It has seven gears. If you've ridden a bike since 1982 or even trained for or finished a triathlon, you probably understand the significance of that number.

Third, Dillypoo is afraid of the bike. Nothing causes me as much stress these days as that damn bike. And yesterday's group ride did NOTHING to alleviate the situation.

Yesterday was my second bike ride. It should've been my third or fourth, but I didn't follow my training schedule and take it out for a spin during the week.

I just left it parked in the living room where it could taunt me every time I passed through.

But I shelved my fears and made it to training like a good little Dillypoo on a cold and windy Sunday afternoon. A very windy Sunday afternoon. Like 40 mph gusts windy.

When I arrived with my awesome, 7-speed, borrowed mountain bike, I was told I'd be working harder than the others in the group. Everyone else has 21 or more gears on their bikes, but I didn't think much about it. I was there to mix things up activity-wise. I'm not planning to win the triathlon, just finish it.

But after yesterday, I'm not sure I even want to start it, much less finish.

I made the most of my seven gears yesterday. I downshifted up hills and into the wind like I was told and ratcheted into 6th and 7th when the road was straight or down hill. But riding into the cold wind was like trying to get onto Platform 9 3/4 after Dobby sealed it shut.

There were parts of the ride where I swear I could've walked faster. There were parts of the ride when I wanted to hop off and walk back to the car. And there were parts of the ride when I almost cried, wondering what the hell I was doing.

It was cold, miserable and painful.

Not surprising, I was the last one to return from our 14 mile trek.

And since this is a tri-training group, I had to run a mile before I could go home, which would've been fine had I been able to feel my legs. Running after a long, horrid bike ride is like trudging bow-legged through ass deep, running water.

But run I did. And the run, although not awesome, was better than the bike ride.

Because Dillypoo is a runner.

On the merciful drive home, The Professor informed me we were meeting friends for dinner. As much as I wanted to just go home and die, I waited until after we ate to curl up in bed with a heating pad and a bottle of ibuprofen.

But I'm not giving up....yet. I need to try this on a better bike. But here's the thing. Dillypoo is already $600 into this tri training WITHOUT buying a new bike. And since I'm not sure there will be a second triathlon in my future, I really, really don't want to invest in a bike.

My coach (who is awesome, by the way), has offered to loan me her daughter's bike, as has a co-worker. And The Professor has a better bike, but we're not sure I can ride it. Soooo....I've decided to take up my co-worker's offer and borrow her bike.

Thank you, thank you! Hopefully next week's ride will be better than yesterday's. It couldn't get much worse.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Making Changes


Frustration has turned to anger. Dillypoo ran 19 miles in two days and GAINED 3.6 pounds.

WTF?

I weighed in again last night and managed to drop .4 pounds since last week, but I still weigh in at a number I haven't seen since June 2010. And it SUCKS.

I keep trying to focus on the positives: I am stronger, leaner and more fit than I was in 2010, but I can't ignore the fact that my pants are getting snug.

So what's a Dillypoo to do? Make some changes, of course.

Change No. One
Re-evaluate the Tools at My Disposal
Weight Watchers has been, and always will be, my best resource for accountability and staying on track. I like the Points Plus system and their emphasis on nutrition and living a healthy lifestyle. And even when they change things up, I remain faithful and trusting that the plan works.

If followed.

This year Club WW changed how activity points are earned. They have a new $40 gadget (with a $5 recurring monthly fee) called ActiveLink that monitors your movements throughout the day. I've resisted buying into the new program because a) I'm cheap and b) I didn't want to wear a doohickey all day, every day.

Besides, I'm ACTIVE. I don't need a device to tell me that!

But since I need to make changes (and because I think Dillypoo's body/metabolism/whatever has become used to my runner's level of activity), I decided to trust this newest offering in the WW tool box:


Supposedly, ActiveLink will determine what my "normal" level of activity is and withhold some of the points I've been chasing until I exceed that normal.

I have a feeling I won't be earning 6-8 points for a typical morning run anymore.

Change No. Two
Feeding the Hunger
Dillypoo is hungree. All. The. Time.

I boot camp three days a week and run three days a week. And now I'm training for a triathlon, so I'm adding swimming and biking to the mix, too.


All of that activity builds up an appetite, and nobody has ever accused Dillypoo of being a light eater.

That's how I got to this blog in the first place.

I've made significant changes to my food regimen over the past four years, but it's time for another close look at my daily diet. I think I'm hungry all of the time because of what I'm NOT eating rather that what I am.

A typical breakfast for me is one or two pieces of fruit, 6 oz of non-fat, flavored yogurt and either whole grain cereal (usually oatmeal) or toast with nut butter and honey. Lunch is usually a sandwich with soup, vegetables and fruit. A normal dinner includes a lean meat like chicken or beef, rice or noodles and vegetables. I snack on fruit, yogurt, light cheese and Goldfish crackers.

I LURV Goldfish crackers!

What is missing from all of that is PROTEIN. I need to add eggs to my breakfast and meat or beans to my lunch. And I need to change up my snacking to include nuts and seeds.

In theory, if I eat more protein I'll be less hungry, better fueled for my activity and less likely to devour all of my WW points (and then some).

Change No. Three
Plan Ahead
I've heard about tracking meals a day or two ahead of time, but I've never tried it. Since Dillypoo is all about change this week, I'm going to try pre-tracking, too.

Last night I tracked my meals for today, and so far I've stayed on plan. I'm actually overdue for a snack right now.

Tonight I'll figure out what my meals will be for tomorrow, which is a good thing because I have a vendor lunch planned. I get to choose the restaurant, though, so that will help. Someplace healthy, someplace lean.

Like seafood. Or sushi.

Change No. Four
Keeping it in Perspective
I know I shouldn't focus on the scale, and I'm trying not to. I know I'm in a better place today than I was in January 2009. I can run half-marathons, for cryin' out loud!

It may be that my goal weight needs to change to account for a leaner, denser me, but only if my skinny jeans fit.

And those skinny jeans are hanging in the closet, like a goal post.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013