Big Boy Clothes

This weekend The Professor and I drove to Houston for the Hunting Art Prize gala. He was a finalist and we decided to make it a long weekend by driving down Friday afternoon and staying until Sunday. We wanted to visit The Menil and Cy Twombly Gallery, eat BBQ and maybe hit some art supply stores and antique shops. It was going to be a fun weekend, and I planned to blog all about it until the most remarkable thing happened on the drive down. Just as we hit a traffic jam about an hour outside of Houston, The Professor said, "I need to get a jacket."

I checked the battery in my hearing aid. It was working just fine.

Dillypoo: "You mean like a tweed jacket? A blazer?"

The Professor: "Yes. Thinking about it."

Mind you, the gala was in 24 hours and we were stuck on Interstate 45 in Conroe, Texas. I looked across the highway and saw a Men's Warehouse. Right there! Just opposite the Interstate 45 parking lot! I bellowed, "Take this exit!"

The Professor: "How much do you think a jacket will cost? I only want to spend about $76."

Dillypoo: "I bet you can get a nice one on sale for about $125."

The Professor: "Maybe we should wait and go to a thrift store in Houston."

Dillypoo: "You are NOT wearing a thrift store blazer to the Hunting Art Prize gala! Take this exit...NOW!"

For the past 18 years, The Professor's wardrobe has been very predictable. Depending on the season, he wears Levi's 505 jeans or Levi's shorts (the lighter denim, not the dark), T-shirts (usually solid with a daub of oil paint or gesso somewhere near his navel) and a long sleeved denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up. For dressier occasions, he'll don a button-down shirt, a pair of black Gap slacks and maybe a vintage tie (picked up at a thrift store or estate sale), depending on just how dressy the occasion is.

The button-down shirt with vintage tie and black Gap slacks were in the back of the car for Saturday night.

We pulled into The Men's Warehouse parking lot and went inside. I told the nice sales lady that we had no idea what size jacket we needed, but we wanted something that didn't need alterations and was maybe a nice tweed. The Professor mentioned his $76 budget.

We both ignored him.

The Professor loved the jacket, despite the $199 price tag. I ran out to the car and brought in his button-down shirt, which actually looked very nice with the jacket. The astute sales lady asked what color slacks he had and shook her head when we said "black."

She brought out a beautiful pair of tan Calvin Klein slacks. They were gorgeous and fit him perfectly, but his shoes, oh my! His shoes.

The Professor owns two identical pair of plain black Ecco dress shoes, and I packed the oldest, scruffiest, gesso-stained pair by mistake. Not that the other pair would have worked. If black slacks didn't go with the jacket, then neither did black shoes.

But The Professor was already in the early stages of shock at the cost of the jacket, slacks and tie (we slipped that in) and balked at the limited and somewhat pricey shoe selection they had. Not wanting to lose our momentum, I asked the sales lady where the nearest DSW Shoe Warehouse was located. Turns out there was one about five miles down the highway. Eureka! We found a pair of camel colored dress shoes on sale for about $45.

He didn't win the $50,000 prize Saturday night, but he looked like a million bucks to me:





He's asked to be buried in this jacket. Which may happen sooner rather than later if I find oil paint on it.