Arachnid Attack

I. Hate. Spiders.

You know how the creepy guy in the bloody mask makes you jump at a scary movie? That's the reaction I have with spiders.

Especially ugly, hairy, most certainly venomous and deadly spiders.

Just such a spider attacked and trapped me in my car today. Twice.

This morning I parked under a tree at work. Thankfully, it looked like rain so I left my windows up. THANKFULLY! Or else Frankenspider might have crawled inside my car.

Shudder.

The first attack began this afternoon when I decided to go out for lunch. I wanted to do a little shoe shopping and hit the Super Target for popsicles.

I thought I'd treat the office since it was a warm day. (With popsicles, not shoes.)

But as I was pulling out of my office parking lot, a horrid eight-legged beast crawled across my driver's side window!

Yes, I swerved erratically. No, it wasn't on the inside. Thank goodness. I've been known to leap from moving vehicles after spotting spiders inside my car.

Just ask The Professor. And the highway patrolman who had to crawl inside my car and kill one that time I was commuting from college.

I watched in horror as it crawled up my window and disappeared. I hoped it would blow away as my car picked up speed, but I couldn't see it. And I know from experience that bugs like speed.

When I got to the shoe store, I parked and inspected the inside of the window. No hairy legs protruding from the door seal. But I couldn't be sure.

So I crawled out the passenger side door.

When I returned to my car, I searched again from the outside. Nothing. I gingerly opened the door and jumped back, just in case it was in a door crevice.

Nothing. So I got in and drove away. I kept an eye open for it, but decided it must've gone with the wind. So to speak.

So imagine my terror after work when it crawled out from the driver's side mirror at a stop light on my way home!

And as I watched, it LEAPT from the mirror to the door! It was trying to break into the car! I swear it had a tiny hammer and axe.

So I did the only logical thing I could think of. I got on the freeway and drove 70 miles an hour all the way home.

Surely something that small wouldn't be able to hang on for 25 minutes at that speed, even if it did have eight legs.

Shudder.

But I couldn't be sure. So I called The Professor from the safety of my sealed car when I pulled into the driveway.

I had to call him three times before he finally called me back.

Dillypoo: "Can you come outside and help me, please?"

The Professor: "After I put on some clothes."

Dillypoo (momentarily distracted): "You're naked?"

The Professor: "I just took a bath. What do you need help with?"

Dillypoo: "I'm trapped in the car. There's a spider."

I could hear his eyes rolling. But he came to my rescue anyway:

The Professor: "Open the door."

Dillypoo: "No!"

The Professor: "I can't see anything."

Dillypoo: "It might be hiding in the window seal or the door crevice. It's black and hairy and very fast! Probably poisonous!"

The Professor (bravely running his hands across the window seal): "There's nothing here. Open the door!"

I crawled to the passenger side, reached over and opened the driver's side door. Nothing. The Professor examined the door for me and declared it safe to get out of the car.

Later, as we got back in the car to go to dinner, he barked, "Oh!" as I closed the door.

The Professor: "It just jumped out of the car!"

I jumped into his lap to get away from the door.

Dillypoo: "You saw it?!"

The Professor: "Was it little and black?"

Dillypoo: "Yes! Are you sure it's gone?"

The Professor (with an evil glint in his eye): "Yes, dear!"