Say "Ahhhhhhh"

I finally decided to see a doctor today for my never-ending tango with the crud.

Because my old doctor is an out-of-network provider on my insurance (and he charged me $500 for unnecessary blood work last fall), I thought now was as good a time as any to find a new physician from my plan's provider list.

The Professor and I live in the hospital district of our fair city. We're within walking distance of three major medical centers, four if you include the children's hospital. Doctors are a dime a dozen in my neighborhood. Shouldn't be too difficult to find one, right?

I called Doctor number one on my list. Yes, she was seeing new patients but only at her office that's 40 minutes away. I could schedule my second visit at her office that's six blocks from my house.

The nurse got a little testy with me when I asked if she'd make an exception. Scratch that one off the list.

Doctor number two operated out of a clinic near the public hospital. Visions of long waits in crowded reception rooms with lots of uninsured sick people and germy children filled my head.

Um, no.

My luck improved with Doctor number three. Not only was she just down the street, but she also had an available appointment!

So I took the afternoon off from work and headed in to see my new doctor. The office was big, clean and there were no glazed donut monsters anywhere.

She asked a lot of questions, listened to my breathing and took a chest x-ray. And unless the pictures indicate something otherwise, then I have a stubborn case of bronchitis. I'm taking antibiotics.

I should have this thing beat by Tuesday!

Barking Spiders

This week I've been in company meetings, trapped in a refrigerated conference room at the Hampton Inn, drinking bad coffee and trying to stifle round four of the Creeping Crud.

I showed up for today's session with a box of tissues and cough syrup. Funny, but nobody seemed too eager to sit next to me.

Or maybe it was because I sneezed and farted at the same time.

Sorry about the inadvertent episode of flatulence and thank you for not mentioning it.

Being sick is so much fun.

More Snow

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Texas anymore.

It's snowing again! Not as much as last time, but there are fluffy white flakes falling from the sky once more.

First a white Christmas:

Our backyard and Big Blue on Christmas morning.

Then the record-breaking snowfall less than two weeks ago:

Our backyard and Big Blue a week and a half ago.

And now more snow! I need to check my GPS and make sure I'm still in Fort Worth.

And here's a fun video shot by a friend during that crazy, 12-inch snow fall:



It took awhile for me to recognize this as the drive past the Fort Worth Zoo. Amazing!

Save Me, Tooth Fairy!

Dillypoo has a toothache. I had to visit Dr. Dentist yesterday for a crown.

When Dr. Dentist asked me if I wanted laughing gas, I spent 2.5 seconds thinking about it before accepting his offer.

Nitrous oxide is your friend. Remember that.

While sitting in the Dental Chair of Doom waiting for the gas to take effect, my mind wandered (which isn't all that unusual). My thoughts drifted to Harry Potter and how cool it would be to fix a toothache with the wave of a wand and a few choice words. Then I stared down the light fixture, which was laughing at me:

That's when I knew the gas was working.

Dr. Dentist came in around that time and numbed my mouth with an eight foot long needle. Then he proceeded to grind my tooth down to a stub.

As I watched the cloud of dust that was once my tooth fly past my face, I thought about how much more stressful the procedure would've been without my happy mask of gas:

Then I crossed my eyes and compared the vision in my eyes. I could see the tooth dust sail past my nose with my left eye but nary a speck with the right. I considered how cool it would be to use magic to fix my eyesight, too.

Once Dr. Dentist was finished pulverizing my molar, he pulled out a giant caulking gun and started spackling my gums in preparation for a temporary crown.

Which made me wonder about how handy he was around the house. Did Mrs. Dentist have a honey do list for him on the weekends? Did he know how to caulk a bathtub? Or did he just call a plumber and pay him with the money from my new crown?

And then before I knew it, Dr. Dentist had removed my gas mask and was shaking my hand out the door, telling me not to eat for at least an hour.

As if the Novocain would have worn off by then. I think that was his idea of a little joke. I gave him a lopsided smile and drooled my way to the car, hoping I'd be able to feel my cheeks in time for lunch.

I get my permanent crown in three weeks. I would've been happier with a rhinestone tiara.

I'll have the unleaded coffee, please

Dillypoo is going caffeine free this week. Be wary of sudden outbursts and fits of irritability.

Thinking that caffeine and sweet drinks may have a connection to The Crap Theory, I've decided to abstain for the next seven days.

I'm also giving up candy.

I know, I know. I was supposed to give that up months ago. What can I say? I've relapsed a smidge.

So no more Starbursts or Dove chocolates for Dillypoo.

Yeah, I'm probably going to be crabby this week. Almost like I have hormones again.

You have been warned.

Holding Pattern

Dillypoo on a treadmill. This scene needs to be repeated more frequently than it has been lately.

It's Weigh Day and I gained .8 pounds this week. I seem to be holding steady at around 164 pounds. Which isn't bad considering that this time last year I weighed about 195.

As much as I'm enjoying the cooler weather, it's been hell on my exercise routine. I haven't consistently worked out since November.

The treadmill above was at the hotel in Brownwood.

But at least I no longer look like this:

Funny how looking at fat pictures always makes me feel better after a disappointing weigh in.

And before I go, I leave you with this warning: STAY AWAY FROM THE POTATO SALAD.

Cole slaw is the much better choice when eating at Red Hot & Blue. Just sayin'.

Monday

Dillypoo got a Charley horse this morning in my right buttocks while stooping to pick up wet towels in the bathroom. That's right. Dillypoo had a fanny cramp.

And it was a pain in my ass the entire day (ba-dum-pum).

I rallied from the butt seizure, though, and took some out-of-town friends to breakfast. Where I was served a cup of coffee with a side of fly. The little bugger didn't drink much, but I asked for a new cup anyway.

I wasn't in the mood to share.

Just your typical Monday morning.

Lupin is Crookshanks

Dillypoo would repeat high school again if given the opportunity...so long as I could transfer to Hogwarts.

As a diehard fan of the Harry Potter books, I miss the excitement before the last book-with-all-the-answers was published.

I miss the theories and chatroom debates about whether Snape was good or evil, who R.A.B. could be and whether the trio would live or die. I miss searching the books for clues and highlighting curious passages, trying to figure out the many different storylines and plot twists.

And like the enchanted book the reader can't stop reading that Ron tells Harry about, I still re-read the books even though I know how the story ends. I can't tell you how many times I've read or listened to them on my iPod. I stopped counting eons ago.

Yes, Dillypoo is a nerd, and I wave my freak flag, er, wand with pride.

I was recently transported back to those exciting days in the HP fandom when nobody knew anything. Three days ago, I discovered The Last Muggle To Read Harry Potter, a blog by, you guessed it, a muggle reading the series for the very first time.

The blog is a one-sided book club discussion in which everyone has finished the story but her. It's been fun reading as she discovers these "children's books" are anything but childish, something I've tried to explain to The Professor for years.

Her comments, insights and theories have been very entertaining. My favorite of her predictions thus far: that Lupin is Crookshanks.

And if you haven't read Harry Potter, then you have no idea how close to the truth she is. Or was. She finally got to that part of the story and knows if she was right or wrong.

ETA: That photo was 40 pounds ago! Ack!

New Moon in 60 Seconds

I've read the Twilight series and I've seen both movies. They're OK, but I'm not as into them as I am the Harry Potter books (although I admit I couldn't stop dreaming about Edward while I was reading them). But I do love a good parody when I see one.

And this one had me laughing pretty hard.

Snow Crab

Dillypoo's office closed early today because of the weather, which made me feel like a kid who's just learned school's been cancelled.

I'd already built a snowman at the office (the day has been full of childish delights), so I decided to go for a walk once I got home. I put on my Ravenclaw cap and a muffler, doubled up on warm socks, put on my galoshes and set out down the street.

I've never seen this much snow in Fort Worth! It's been falling steadily for 16 hours, which isn't much to anybody living up north or on the east coast, but it's pretty rare around these parts. It's not unheard of for this town to shut down because of flurries. Today we had almost 10 inches!

While I was out for my idyllic stroll in the snow, The Professor was dealing with urgent house maintenance issues. It seems that the lovely snow weighing down trees was also disrupting our satellite reception.

Of course, I had no idea that as I was dodging snow flakes he was on the roof in an advanced state of tee vee withdrawal. By the time I got home, The Professor was in high dudgeon.

Dillypoo: "I'm home!"

The Professor: unintelligible muttering

Dillypoo: "Is the tee vee out? Is it because of the snow?"

The Professor: unintelligible muttering

Dillypoo: "What?"

The Professor: "Why do you think I'm sitting on the roof in the snow?"

I realized too late that we were on opposite ends of the happy spectrum. I briefly considered slamming the bedroom window shut and leaving Mr. Crabbypants outside on the roof, but what would the neighbors think?

I offered my feeble help instead and was curtly asked to hit the red reset button on the receiver.

Dillypoo: "You're kind of crabby."

The Professor: "I've been clinging to the roof! And there were two squirrels out there. One of them made a suicide leap off the window sill."

Dillypoo (peering out the window to the yard below): "Really? Did it die?"

The Professor: "I don't know! I didn't look for the body."

Dillypoo: "You're kind of crabby."

The Professor's mood improved somewhat once the reception was restored, but heaven help me if the power goes out! I'm not sure the portable tee vee is charged and it's too cold to kick him to the curb if he has another sourpuss relapse.

I just hope that as the temperatures fall tonight the satellite doesn't go out again or vengeful squirrels start tapping on the windows. They're such a distraction to the beautiful snow!

Snow Day

It snowed today! As a matter of fact, it's still snowing. I've never seen so much snow in North Texas! Almost six inches of the fluffy stuff.

My co-workers and I are having difficulties focusing on work so we decided to set up a photo shoot outside for this year's holiday card. It was an excellent excuse to go outside and play:

Mr. Snowman is a little lumpy and neckless, but not bad for a bunch of Texans. We'll have to wait and see if he actually makes it to the holiday card.

Temptation

My office is located across from the breakroom, which means I know when it's time for a snack, lunch or coffee break. I don't normally mind the extra traffic around my office. I'm deaf in one ear so the chatter and microwave beeps don't usually bother me.

But the aromas that tickle my nose can be a challenge! I've conditioned myself to ignore the titillating scent of reheated pizza, last night's barbecue brisket or leftover garlic chicken. And there's always someone who thinks popcorn is a good idea for breakfast.

Mastering the urge to indulge took a year and my waistline reflects the effort.

But I'm not always prepared for the visual assault when I walk by. Today, somebody evil and with obvious malice in their hearts brought a plate of brightly decorated donut holes.

Be still my beating heart (and salivating mouth)!

Lucky I have healthy snacks in my office.

Think I'll slice a banana and toss it in some yogurt.

My hips will be much happier after someone else finishes off those donuts, though!

I'm a Pepper

The Professor and I went back to Brownwood this weekend, but this time we drove through Dublin, Texas, home of the oldest Dr Pepper bottling company in the world. It's also the only Dr Pepper bottling company that makes Dr Pepper with cane sugar instead of corn syrup.

If you're a DP purist or a true Texan, then Dublin Dr Pepper is manna from heaven.

The Professor is neither. He's a Coca-Cola man and still claims his buckeye heritage even though he's lived in Texas long enough to be a naturalized citizen.

But even a yankee knows good pop when they taste it, and ice cold Dublin Dr Pepper is the Best. Soda. Ever.

And for $2.50, you can tour the bottling plant and see how it's done. Except they weren't bottling last Saturday. Seems they only do that once a month and usually on a Wednesday.

It's a small operation.

But we got a bottle to drink as part of the tour, which made the price of admission an even better deal.

Weigh Day Update: I somehow managed to lose 1.6 pounds this week! Yay!

The Phoenix Effect

Dillypoo likes routines. They maintain order in my day and help me get things done. I have routines to begin my morning, wash laundry, organize my work day and get ready for bed. First I floss, then I take my vitamins, wash my face and brush my teeth. In that order.

Every day.

I get crabby if anyone messes with my routines, though. My heart raced tonight when I discovered that The Professor had done a load of laundry. My eyes furtively scanned the pile of folded clothes on the bed as he promised he'd only washed things he knew wouldn't get him in trouble.

Like bath towels and his socks.

I thanked him for getting a head start on chores and then refolded my jeans while wondering if he'd remembered to add bleach to the load of towels.

Some might say my penchant for ritual makes me a bit of a control freak. They may be right, but at least I'm productive. And our clothes are clean.

Some routines have nothing to do with my desire for order, though. Some are driven by an internal clock or biological need. Like waking up at 6:00 a.m., even on weekends. Or visiting the loo at precisely 9:00 a.m. each morning.

Not that I'm referring to me. I was just making up examples. I have no problem sleeping in on weekends.

However, my body has made a ritual out of hot flashes, which I refer to as The Phoenix Effect. I can guarantee that I'll burst into flame each morning as I'm about to apply my mascara. And no matter what the temperature is outside, I have to turn on a fan and wait to be reborn so I can finish painting my face without my makeup sliding down in a rush of hormone induced sweat.

Red wine also brings on The Phoenix Effect, but that's less a routine and more of a trigger.

Maybe my need for routine isn't an OCD symptom. Maybe I'm just wired that way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go floss, take my vitamins, wash my face and brush my teeth.

Weigh Day Update: I gained again this week. I'm up .6 pounds this time. I'm definitely in a roller-coaster rut of gain-lose-gain-lose. I need to figure out that cold weather work out routine I keep moaning about.